• Anxiety,  Uncategorized

    Guilt complex

    They will.

    I used to get anxiety from worrying about neglecting certain stuffed animals by picking favorites.

    I was also always worried that they would be too sad when I left, so I ended up taking them everywhere with me. Family gatherings, church, friends houses. I got made fun of a lot, but it was a small price to pay to ensure my stuffed animals were happy.

    To this day, I always make sure they’re comfortable and sitting up where they can see so they don’t get too bored, because part of me is still convinced that they’re real; they’re just not allowed to talk or move with people around. It’s against stuffed animal rules, and I respect that.

    TMI: I am a grown woman (techinically) and I still cuddle 1-3 stuffed animals most nights, depending on my level of neediness. Michael doesn’t mind, but that’s probably just because he’s the sweetest person in the world. <3

  • Mental Health

    TNT

    This just popped into my head the other day while I was outside digging in the dirt or “gardening” as some folks like to call it. (PSA: I’m pretty bad at gardening)

    Sometimes bridges require more than fire, sometimes they require explosives.

    I’ve experienced my fair share of bad relationships and friendships to last me a lifetime. Every now and then I reflect on the times when it felt like my very soul was being drained by those around me, and I feel an overwhelming sense of gratitude that I no longer have those people in my life.
    I learned how to use dynamite on the bridges that needed it, and looking back I have no regrets.

    Your mental health and sanity are worth exploding bridges over. Period.

    Don’t ever let toxic people get in the way of your joy. Hold on to the ones who matter, are there for you, and who fill your soul, not drain it. I’ve got my little group of people who I love and will never let go of, and my cup runneth over.

  • Mental Health

    Eternally grateful

    It’s a hard pill to swallow when you realize you can’t change anyone, all you can do is change your attitude and yourself.

    I grew up always saying “please” and “thank you”, and always felt the deep importance of showing gratitude toward someone. No one has to do a damn thing for you, sometimes they just choose to. It really bothers me (to the point of absurdity) when people don’t show gratitude, especially when you’ve put a lot of time into something for them that you didn’t have to do.

    Being of an artistic nature, I get asked for a lot of favors and it can be overwhelming at times, especially when you’ve only recently developed the hard-learned skill of saying “no” (which definitely can put a damper on friendships. People don’t like hearing “no”, but that’s a whole other topic.)

    I’m still learning that I don’t fundamentally deserve gratitude for anything I’ve done, I don’t deserve recognition with every favor.
    It’s hard to push down your ego and ask yourself; did you do it out of love, or did you do it because you wanted attention and praise?

    Being human means being fundamentally flawed, which means you’re always going to struggle with something.
    The hardest part is to remember that everyone else is struggling, too.



    Hope you’re having a wonderful weekend! There’s a light at the end of the long winter tunnel; happy spring!!

    Jess


  • Fear,  Thoughts on Death

    Where will I be?

    Politics, religion, race and gender all set aside, the one thing all living beings share in life is death.

    It’s okay to talk about dying, in fact, it’s a good thing. Talking about death doesn’t bring it any closer, it just helps us to be more prepared and to be grateful for the time we have.

    Let’s talk about it.

  • Anxiety,  Mental Health

    Overdue.

    Sometimes bad friends pay visits at the worst times.
    During such a time, I managed to write about our day together and come up with this story.

    Anxiety is very real.
    He comes in many different forms.
    Be nice to yourself.
    You are not crazy.

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